The Radio 3 Curse

I suffer from a Radio 3 curse. Radio 3 is a british radio station devoted to classical music. In the daytime it's nasal shrilly songs in german, at night it's nasal shrilly songs in german until ten when it becomes nasal shrilly chants from patagonian exiles, backed by Brian Eno and Bhoutros Bhoutros Ghali on vibraphone.

The alternative to Radio 3 would be one of those many stations where audio output can be described as ceaseless aural chum. The effect of the barking infantiles on these stations, and their limited "playlists" is like having the crust of cold sores grated into your tea.

So I'm happy to listen to Radio 3.

But whenever I turn on Radio 3, the curse intervenes.

I turn on the radio, and there's nothing. Turn it up...a slight hiss. Turn it up a bit more and..buhh duuhhh de durrrhh!. That's right, I've turned it up just as Shostakovich has decided to suspend the entire orchestra in woody silence. Just as I turn it on there's nothing for about two seconds then the entire orchestra bows, blows, bangs and parps a cacophony to shatter kidneys.

Sometimes the Radio 3 curse waits until the end of the piece being played. It might be one of those wonderful warm romantic pieces from the late nineteenth century, before the bolsheviks could commission orchestral music. In this case I get to hear the sweet sinewy violin motif that whisps it way towards the final elegant note. Then...Well, that was lovely wasn't it (breathe sigh phlegm-sounds) That was ..I get the Radio 3 announcer at volume ten, always a complete shocking misery.

It's not much to complain about in a world of poverty, disease, strife and corruption, but it bugs me. Thank you for reading.